When it comes to bullying, there are consequences for both the victim and perpetrator.

Michael Butkus, PhD, LP, provides the following Q&A that can help.

What are the effects bullying can have on the victim?

There are numerous potential consequences. These include increased stress, anxiety, and worrying about both going to and being in school. Victims can have school attendance problems and physical complaints such as stomachaches and headaches.

Other potential issues include:

Sleep and appetite disturbances
Decreased assertiveness
Increased insecurity and crying/withdrawal
Chronic low self-esteem
Risk being shunned by peers
Depression which may be seen as irritability or anger
Suicidal thinking/behavior
Decreased concentration and academic achievement
Victims may turn to bullying others
Need for psychotherapy to help decrease the above effects
Extreme consequence: a bully-victim (youth who was bullied and bullies back) who kills

What are some effects bullying has on the perpetrator?

Decreased social relationships
Tendency to use external means to cope with their own problems, e.g., victimizing others
Tendency toward increased use of physical aggression and suffering consequences
Stepping stone to delinquent or antisocial behavior
Long-term, contributes to the development of low self-esteem
Long-term, as parents, they may have children who bully too

What are some tips for the victim?

Talk to teacher, parent, friends, if you don’t want to go to school or get nervous and worried about going or feel sad and suicidal.
Believe that something can be done about it and you have a right to be treated respectfully
Ignore; if that doesn’t work…
Move away; if that doesn’t work…
Talk friendly; if that doesn’t work…
Talk firmly; if that doesn’t work…
Get adult help
Don’t engage a cyberbully with more emails or send offending email to others
Keep all the evidence and show to adults
Tell parents, school
Block emails and cell numbers
Change phone numbers, email addresses

What can/should the bully do?

Try to feel what the victim might be feeling
Think how you would feel, if you were bullied
Be honest and admit that you have hurt another’s feelings and reputation
Talk to friends and let them know you don’t like what you did
Realize that you are bullying mostly to gain attention of others at the expense of another; there are healthier ways to be accepted and admired
Own up to your behavior; talk to adults about it; get counseling
Apologize to victim

Michael Butkus, PhD, LP, is a clinical psychologist at DMC Children’s Hospital of Michigan. Visit www.childrensdmc.org for further health information.