One of the critical parental tasks is to prepare our children for the “real” world and its events.
One of the events that, in one form or another, appears for every child is bullying, people or other children who want to make you feel stupid, ugly, incompetent, weird or want to hit or scare you.
It’s important to let children know:
- they are likely to, at some point, experience this behavior
- that this is happening to them not because there is anything wrong with them but because there are people in the world who have been hurt and damaged and are angry and feel bad about themselves and want to hurt other people and make them feel bad — to do unto others what has been done to them
- that these children, people are to be pitied but not tolerated
- children need to, immediately, tell their parents what is happening to them and, together, they need to find solutions to solve the problem.
This presupposes trust between parent and child which is a necessary foundation for any good, loving relationship and which is achieved by parents who can “hear,” understand and accept the child in all his vicissitudes.
Miriam Kove is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist who has worked with parents, children, individuals and couples for 30 years.
Her passion and mission is to encourage and advocate the critical importance of knowledgeable parenting.
For more information visit www.MiriamKove.com