Becoming a likable person is one of the most important of all personal attributes. Likable people have more friends, enjoy better relationships, are more likely to advance in their careers, have more influence and live happier lives. The logic is simple: people are subconsciously drawn to people who are likable.
All the great teachers of personal achievement from Napoleon Hill to Anthony Robbins have talked about the importance of creating a likable personality. Dale Carnegie’s famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the best books on the subject and his teachings live on today.
Being likable can help build a positive brand for yourself. Your brand is how the world sees you. It’s the feeling others get when they think about you. Just as Apple is a brand, so do you. The brand you build for yourself has a direct impact on the value you bring to your friendships, family and to the marketplace once you start working.
Becoming more likable is simple. All it requires of you is to be intentional about doing the little things that will make people like and respect you.
Your Likability Factor Self-test
If your friends and family were to rank you on the likability scale (1–10) what would they say? Be honest now. How likable are you?
- How do you treat your classmates, including those you would not consider to be your favorites? Are you nice, courteous and respectful?
- Do you speak poorly of people behind their backs?
- When speaking with other people, are you genuinely engaged and interested in what they have to say or are you more interested in what you have to say?
- Does your smile communicate an authentic interest in the other person?
- When your friends are speaking, are you patient? Do you let them finish before responding?
- Will you get in the back seat of the car so your friend can sit in the front seat?
- Will you pitch in for gas money when your friend driving without having to be asked?
- Do you accept responsibility when you are wrong?
- Do you show respect for people’s time by always being punctual for your appointments?
- Do you avoid complaining when things displease you?
- Do you say please when asking people to do something for you, even if they are being paid to do it?
- Do you offer your sincere appreciation to those who have done something to help you, even if it’s not required of them?
- Are you friendly in your emails and text messages?
- Are you complimentary of others?
- Do you encourage others when given the opportunity?
- When having dinner at a friend’s home, do you pitch in and help do the dishes?
- Do you practice humility or do you brag about yourself?
- Do you listen more than you talk?
- Do you offer a heartfelt apology, without excuses, when you have offended someone?
- Do you make people feel comfortable when they are around you?
- Do you try to maintain a positive attitude at all times?
How did you do? Are there areas where you need improvement?
Each one of these points represents choices you make. Being likable is about being unselfish and doing the little things to connect with people and show you care.
As you go about your daily routine, start paying attention to the things you do and don’t do when communicating and interacting with others in person, online, and over the phone. As you review your daily encounters, look for ways you can increase your likability and become a person who attracts others.
When you do the little things to connect with people, your relationships will improve and you will have greater influence at home, at school and at work.
Todd Smith believes the best of the best are those who strive for excellence at the little things. He is the author of Little Things Matter and today is pursuing his passion to work with his family to help feed starving children at Save1.com, a coupon site that feeds a malnourished child with each coupon redeemed.