When you read the title of my chapter “How to Take Charge of Your Emotions”, you may be asking “What do my emotions have to do with my grades and why is it so important?” Allow me to share with you why. As you go about your everyday life you may feel like your emotions are all over the place. It’s natural to feel happy one day, sad the next, angry the next and fantastic the next. Heck, you can go through these emotions all in one day.
When I was younger, a mentor told me that our emotions are there for a reason. Just like the temperature meter in your car tells you whether your car is cool or overheating, your emotions help you determine whether your life is working for you or not. If you consistently have negative emotions it is a message that something is wrong and you must take action to change it before you “overheat”.
When you feel happy your brain is in a better state for success, but of course you might not feel happy every day, so let’s talk about how to get better grades even when you’re not feeling happy. You may have heard success stories of athletes and others who came from very challenging environments to rise up and become great. They went through all kinds of emotions in their lives but the secret is that they used each emotion to their advantage to change their lives for the better. You can too.
Let me share with you how I overcame challenges of having very low self esteem and anger to excel in my studies and life. When I was in grade two my family moved and I went to a different school. The language I spoke was different than what most other students spoke so I was perceived as different.” My brother and I were bullied quite a bit. Over the years I developed very low self esteem, became angry as a teenager and did poorly in school. A turning point came for me when I went to camp.
A very kind teacher gave me unconditional love and respect. At that moment I made a commitment to change my life. I started to read self improvement books and attend seminars. I have learned many things over the years. In this chapter I am going to share with you three things and it is my utmost wish that will be a turning point in your life.
The first is about purpose. One of the reasons why I couldn’t succeed in my grades was because I did not know what my purpose was or why I went to school. It is like a plane that takes off but does not have a destination. Please ask yourself “Why do I go to school”? Does the answer give you a positive emotion or negative one? If it is negative chances are you do not have a strong purpose why you go to school.
Over the years I did research on traits of top students. The one thing they all have in common is they all know their purpose and it is usually something bigger than themselves.
Example: The reason why I go to school is to learn and make a positive difference in the world.
That kind of purpose really helps you overcome the challenges and negative emotions that you may face in your daily life. So please find some quiet time to find your purpose.
The second thing I have learned is brain scientists say when we are angry, sad or frustrated our brain function gets very limited and we don’t have access to the more thinking part of the brain.
That is one of the main reasons why I couldn’t study initially. They say one of the fastest ways for us to switch from being angry to being able to access a more logical perspective and feelings, is doing a deep breathing exercise. Take a few minutes to slowly take a few deep breaths and notice how it feels. In the future when you are angry, sad or frustrated just keep on doing deep breathing and you automatically change your emotions.
Finally, one of the most powerful things I have learned about how to keep my emotions in a consistently positive state is to practice love and gratitude in my life.
In my class I do a powerful scientific experiment to show the power of love and how it affects our learning and life. It is called Muscle Testing and it is based on kinesiology which is the study of human movement.
I get students to volunteer. I ask them to lift up their arm and I tell them to resist when I try to push it down.
When I ask them to think of a negative experience or emotion their arms become weak and they can’t resist.
When I ask them to think of someone they love and things they are grateful for their arms suddenly become strong and I cannot push it down.
What does that tell you? Yes! When you have negative emotions you become weak but when you practice love and gratitude in your life you become strong. Scientists have proven that love is one of the most powerful emotions you will ever have. It will change your life and all the negative emotions you are facing.
One of my daily practices is to forgive everyone before I go to sleep every night. Each morning I get up and say how grateful I am for everything I have and for people I care about. I would like to end this chapter by saying that it has been a privilege to be able to communicate with you. I wish you the best in your studies and life!
Zeal Zainuddin is the Principal Trainer and Life Coach of M&Z Empowerment Center in Malaysia and Singapore. He is a Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and a Life Coach. Zeal started his own company with a mission to empower and benefit others with his personal experience and knowledge. Through his workshop Accelerated Learning in Action (ALIA) and Love & Respect life coaching he has helped many people to overcome their challenges in life and learn by applying the principles of Love & Respect and whole being learning (body, mind, heart and spirit). Mr. Zainuddin’s mission is to provide the best quality education and learning in Malaysia, Singapore and around the world.
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