Self-Esteem has become the new buzzword for students, parents and teachers. We all do our best in giving you the best chances to attain the highest self-esteem possible. With increased self-esteem there isn’t anything you cannot accomplish. If you think you can achieve something you can.
High self-esteem even makes the nay-sayers irrelevant. If your self-esteem gets lost, you absolutely can find it again. When you speak to successful leaders, most often you will hear them recount stories of how others didn’t believe in them but their own positive feelings about themselves pushed them to work harder and achieve more.
What gave them that ability? Healthy self-esteem.
Let’s talk about how we go about gaining self-esteem and then keeping it in the face of difficulty, adversity and doubters. Self-esteem is the feeling we have about ourselves and how we carry ourselves in the world. If we feel good about ourselves then we feel more confident about taking on new challenges and succeeding in those challenges. So you may be asking yourself, how does one gain healthy self-esteem? It is developed in various ways beginning with your parents. If your parents provide you with the environment to try new things and support you as you struggle, healthy self-esteem is achieved. In that struggle come the great feelings. Once you have succeeded, the struggle seems worth it and your self-esteem increases because you were able to tackle it on your own.
If your parents jump in to rescue you and solve it for you, your sense of self-worth has the potential to go down. Yes, you might feel happy that you had the help, but in the end you know it wasn’t all by your work and this nags at the self-esteem inside. The same is true for teachers, but they may have an easier time letting a child figure it out on their own.
Parents, because of how much they love you want to help in any way they can often not realizing that in the long run, may not be so helpful. I am not suggesting that parents should never help their kids, but a little effort can go along way.
It is important to know that self-esteem may also not be a constant feeling. It may take some hits along the way as you encounter new struggles, new people, new environments, school assignments and exams. That may not sound very comforting, but here are some practical steps one can do to achieve and maintain healthy self-esteem.
Practical Ways To Higher Self-Esteem
- Fake it until you feel it: Even if you feel your self-esteem has taken a hit and you have lost it a bit, fake it. Pretend to yourself that you are on top of the world. This may sound a bit nutty, but faking it until you feel it really works. For your next exam where you might be feeling a bit shaky, remind yourself what a great student you are and how you always ace these exams. Use your body language to propel self-esteem too. Sit tall and breathe deeply, holding your head high.
- Practice some deep breathing: When your self-esteem becomes shaky, I want you to stop what you are doing and focus only on your breathing. Breathe in slowly and deeply and as you do you will find your body and mind become more relaxed. As you become more relaxed you can quiet the nerves and achieve what you want to achieve.
- Practice relaxation and visualize your positive outcome: this can be one of the most successful and practical tools you can use to enhance your self-esteem and get back on track. When you close your eyes and imagine what you are trying to achieve and can see the outcome you desire, this is quite helpful in regaining and maintaining self-esteem. For example; imagine you have some difficult exams coming up and you want to get better grades than you did the last time. Close your eyes and picture yourself taking the exams and doing well. You see yourself as confident and capable and seeing the outcome of the wonderful grades you will achieve.
- Surround yourself with others who enhance your self-esteem, rather than those who detract from it. If there are a group of kids that make you feel less confident and shaky about yourself because their behavior, morals and values are not in line with yours, then find like-minded people to share good times. Your peer group can be a wonderful support system assuming there are like minded individuals who are kind, supportive and do not participate in any type of bullying.
- Reach out to your parents and teachers: when things feel a bit rough or your grades could use a lift gain some support to spur you on. If you need extra help then ask for it. You will be amazed at how a small amount of encouragement from your parents or teacher can go a long way in you regaining your self-esteem after you have lost it.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Jennifer Kelman is a Certified Professional Coach, Licensed Master Social Worker, Entrepreneur and mother of twins. She is also the creator of the award- winning children’s characters Mrs. Pinkelmeyer and Moopus McGlinden at MrsPinkelmeyer.com. She is also the founder of JenniferKelmanCoaching.com who credits her success to not counting the “no’s.” Kelman also founded Healing Connections, a non-profit organization to prevent eating disorders, lecturing to more than 10,000 students and parents.
Read more about healthy self esteem