We Are OK: A Framework Making Back to School Transitions Easier
The final days of summer often bring up a myriad of feelings for parents and kids. The end of vacation feels bittersweet, while the start of the school year can be both exciting and scary. The prospect of transitioning from lazy summer days filled with fun, to the morning scramble to get out the door, dealing with bus schedules, and homework can feel overwhelming.
At the Children’s Arts Guild, we developed We Are OK: A framework to make back-to-school transitions feel a little easier. At any stressful moment during the transition back to school—a late school bus, a forgotten lunchbox, a tearful drop-off—remind yourself out loud: “We are OK.”
W — Welcome Change
Set the tone for transition by cultivating a positive outlook in yourself and modeling that for your children. Invite the kiddos to talk about what they are looking forward to and what might be making them worried about the start of a new school year. Don’t gloss over the worries, but help them focus on the adventure of it all too.
E — Ease into the Transition
Help your children begin to prepare for the transition back to school by slowly working toward it. Mark the first day of school on a paper calendar in a space that you all share in your home, like the kitchen. Invite the children to do one thing a day to prepare for going to school — maybe talking to a friend who will be in their class, or writing a list of things they will need on the first day.
A — Ask the Kids to Lead
Yes, the transition back to school is something the whole family goes through, but it is your child who is having the first-person experience. Follow their lead in the process of getting ready and offer as much support as possible. It may not look like they are getting themselves ready; trust that they are, in their own way.
R — Rely on Real Routines for Making Back to School Transitions Easier
Routines are great — when we follow them. Imposing routines on our kids is not the same as helping them develop routines that support self-regulation. Help them develop routines that work for them. Suggest a few things to think about together:
- What do you do in the morning to get ready for school?
- What helps you relax when you get home?
- Where do you like to do your work?
- What helps you get ready to go to sleep?
Practice these routines a few days before the start of school, so they’re not all brand new on the first day.
E — Energize Yourself
Kids are exquisitely attuned to the adults around them, even if they seem not to notice when we walk into the room. They pay much closer attention to our energy and our actions than to our words. It is just as important that you get yourself ready for the transition as it is to help your kids get ready. Reflect on how you’re feeling, adjust your own routines, and take care of yourself — you can’t be there for them if you’re not there for yourself.
O — Orient Yourselves in the New
Preparation is great, but it doesn’t take the place of the actual experience. Once school starts, give your kids and yourself time to settle in. That often takes longer than we think — possibly weeks or even a couple of months. Be patient and empathetic with yourselves.
K — Know It Will Be OK
Know that there will be bumps. There might even be morning meltdowns and your kiddo crying or yelling, “I don’t want to go.” Those are hard — for everyone. Practice mindful self-regulation. When you are aware of your own feelings and can manage them, you can be present for your children and help them self-regulate. Let them know that you are there for them, that you see their struggle, and that it will be OK.
Parents face a constant stream of demands. Choosing how we respond to these demands reinforces our sense of agency and allows us to be present to ourselves and the people around us. The “We are OK” framework is designed to help people exercise that agency to be with the children in our lives in an authentic, enjoyable way.
ABOUT ALEXANDER KOPELMAN
Alexander Kopelman is a writer, social entrepreneur, advocate, and coach who has devoted 40 years to advancing social justice and personal empowerment. As founding President and CEO of Children’s Arts Guild, Kopelman helped create and grow a nonprofit organization that supports children in exploring and developing their authentic selves. Prior to founding Children’s Arts Guild, Kopelman served as Director of Marketing for Girls Inc. for over 12 years. Kopelman has authored and co-authored 10 books, including For Real: Helping Children Remain Their Authentic Selves in a Limiting World [Page Two, June 9, 2026]. He lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and very small dog.
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